The Great American Novel...

Since I came home from Colorado a few weeks ago, I have spent my time interviewing, writing theological essays, taking spiritual gift tests, pondering, waiting, waiting and more waiting. The interviews, the writing and the testing have kept me busy and productive but the waiting has made my hands idle. Not long ago, Anne, my beloved, asked me to start writing, so I've finally taken her advice and began the long process of writing my novel. I've never attempted something like this, I'm not sure the process, and I am not convinced anyone will ever read it, but I want to be productive, I want to remain creative, and I want to contribute. It's a story about a guy who has conflict with family, with love, and with others - shockingly unique. It draws on my own story and the stories of others I've intersected - but according to Rob Bell and Chris Seay, others stories are my story because we are all connected to the God story. Therefore, to draw on others is to draw on myself. It deals with issues of grief, forgiveness, anger, disappointment, relationships, family, depression, loneliness, hope, love, spirituality, art, music and visions. For what it's worth, my working title is "Little Souvenir" and the main character is Martin. (I once spoke with an author who writes without a title and without character names but as the story goes on, the title and the names come to him. However, he needs something to work with so he picks names based on names on authors whose books line his office walls and his title comes from some idea fresh to him.)

Can anyone name where my title comes from and/or why I've given him the name Martin?

Reflections on my Rocky Mountain High

Last week I journeyed back to my favorite place in the States: Colorado. In 1996 I packed up my Jeep and moved to the Denver area in hopes of securing the heart of a young lady named Anne and establishing deep roots in a city and state that captured my imagination. Anne and I were married the following year and we remained in God's playground until 2005 - not bad for establishing and reaching goals! During the past four years, I've thought and prayed about returning the state I love and laboring once again, but I continue to wait on the Lord for permission. I've talked with numerous churches around the country (and the Bahamas) but when I talk with communities in Colorado, something moves within me in a different way. It's as I feel like I am home.

I had a chance to meet with dear friends and to talk about our church experiences over the past few years. It was amazing to hear different stories from different people; to hear from the honest places in their hearts. Yet, the reality was, there were common threads between us all: desire for authenticity, disappointment, discouragement, wonder, frustration with status quo, and even excitement regarding new church experiences and ideas. Though we did not resolve all the issues of the Church in 2009, this conversation was simply the beginning of many to come to push, stretch and challenge each other towards something grand.

I also had a chance to meet with a few companions whom I labored with for years in Littleton. To hear their stories of ministry and life was like water to my soul. It is amazing to go so deep with these friends though we only see each other maybe once a year. After Columbine, it seems that these friends became more like family, and our differences became less noticeable - that is what tragedy and crisis can do to ones sense being.

I visited a church in the area that I am in conversation with. It was good to be with them, to worship with them, and to meet them. I gained insight that I was impossible to attain from my home in west Michigan. As I continue to discern my "calling" I constantly realize the need to be kinesthetic in my approach: I need to see the church, experience her and her people, allow my senses to be heightened and the like.

A highlight of my trip was my adventure on a quad in the mountains outside Central City. I, along with three friends, took an 18 mile, back country, dirt-bike ride up to 10,000 feet. We drove our machines through creeks, mud and snow and climbed over rocks to just below tree-line. It was an amazing experience in God's playground as I was able to take in the beauty of the pines, aspens and mountain peaks as well as have a solid three hours on a quad in my own little solitude. I sang - quite loud by the way, I prayed and I wondered. Though I've shied away from motors in the back country and embraced the true experiences of mountain biking and telemark skiing in the past, I am now becoming hooked on the rush of this motorized beast!

Finally, I take away the deep and profound conversations that I had each day. The trip was worth it simply for these moments of iron sharpening iron. I am grateful for all the friends, family and colleagues that I was able to spend with and I hope to do it again soon - perhaps next time, it won't be as a visitor but as resident...