To dwell in hope...

So much happens when you let the cat out of the bag. I am now dialoging with nearly two dozen friends, family members and mentors and these conversations have taken me down hundreds of roads. I've had many jump up and down and scream at my ideas, some encourage me as former church planters, some inform me on the difficult road that I am on, some question the need for another church, and even a few question my motives. I have asked a lot of questions and received an equal amount of answers and advice. I've been encouraged and discouraged, excited and confused, optimistic and pessimistic, ready to move and ready to bury my head. Yet, I continue this conversation.

I am reading Under the Unpredictable Plant: And Exploration in Vocational Holiness by the marvelous Eugene Peterson and I find myself again drawn to his warm and pastoral tone. He tells a story from early in his ministry when it dawned on him that the "job" of pastor he had was drowning him and his family and he was miles from his "calling." He went to his elders and resigned. Instead of accepting, they asked him, "What do you want to do?" He responded that he wanted to deal with God, himself and people. He writes, "I want to study God's word long and carefully so that when I stand before you and preach and teach I will be accurate. I want to pray, slowly and lovingly, so that my relation with God will be inward and honest. And I want to be with you, often and leisurely, so that we can recognize each other as close companions on the way of the cross and be available for counsel and encouragement to each other."

I believe in a community that shares with one another, learns together, prays alongside each other, breaks bread and drinks wine together, and gathers regularly. I want participate in a community who seeks to be missional, intentional, confessional, historical, and purposeful. I want to own my calling as a shepherd, leader, counselor and teacher and I want to fight the urge to settle for a church job.

Peterson refers to his community as "close companions on the way of the cross" and I am marveling at this title as we enter the Easter season. On this Maundy Thursday, this day that Jesus offers his disciples hope, I too dwell on hope.